Are you there God...it's me??

I haven't written here in ages and lots has been happening in life with church, college now that im living in Koinonia House and various other things. But i feel the time has come after the past weekend.

We had a Lay Witness Weekend in Seymour Street with a team of 15 fantastic people who came to share with us as a church family. If im honest I was really excited about the weekend, i've had a few struggles over the past couple of weeks, so I was really excited about what God was going to do in our church and in our lives individually. But I was a little let down...the meal on Friday night was great and i believe I was sitting beside the person i was meant to as we had wonderful conversation about things that were on both of our hearts but I left the event feeling a little...empty!! I was really disappointed that God hadn't shown up for me, why when I was so open and excited to receive was I leaving with such a disappointed empty feeling. Or maybe I wasn't as open as I had thought and God had shown up but I just didnt recognise it?!

Saturday came and I went to one of the coffee mornings, a wonderful time of fellowship, friendship and sharing with an awesome and powerful testimony shared very openly with the group and yet i was still asking, "God where are you in this? Why can't I hear what you are saying to me?"

If im honest once more, I was reluctant to go again on the Saturday evening but through the persuasion and encouragement of a good and caring friend I went. After all, how could I expect God to move and give if I wasnt there and open to receive. Again it was an enjoyable time of fellowship and sharing with the Witnesses who very openly shared their story of their walk with God. But once more I couldnt understand why God was being so silent to me. After being so excited and so expectant.

It wasnt until the Sunday that I 'woke up'...during the service on Sunday morning i had such a sense of God's presence and a real sense of being told 'I am with you and I will be there the entire way'

This continued into the evening service which was a true blessing...so many people shared an encouraging testimony/story of what they had received from the weekend. I also received an image of what our church was part of...during one of the first songs we sang during worship "The Splendour of the King", I had an image of our church standing in front of the throne of God which was blazing with light, shining golden and we were joining with hundreds of other people from everywhere alongside Angels and Archangels, all the hosts of heaven in bringing praise and glory to our Father and God. It was a humbling and amazing image and a very special insight into how we as a fellowship are part of the bigger picture of God's fellowship.

So after struggling to find God in what was happening He made it very clear to me that He was there all along. If anything I was depending to much on my emotions and feelings to know that right from the start. Sometimes we just need to relax and know....

All I Want is You...

I love the song 'All I Want is You' by Bellefire (yes I know, before anyone says it is an original U2 song I just happen to prefer the other version!!)

Anyway I was listening to it tonight as i was walking round Hillsborough and one of the verses just totally caught me off guard, as if I was listening to it for the first time...or with fresh ears maybe!!

You say you'll give me
A highway with no one on it
Treasure just to look upon it
All the riches in the night

You say you'll give me
Eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest

But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

Not being a huge U2 fan I don't know it there's any kind of story behind the song. But it just really struck me that this could be a song, sung by a child of God to their Heavenly Father and reminded me of a conversation I had with a very wise and Godly man when I was in Sri Lanka this summer. God wants to give us so so much, He wants to provide for us, heal us, love us and fill our lives with the goodness and great abundance of heaven.

We can complicate that and make it so difficult sometimes. We make so many promises right through life...at baptism, marriage vows, at acceptance into membership, dedication services and for Methodists in our annual covenant service and Im sure there are many others...but what do those words and promises mean if we dont seek that abundance that God wants to bless us with, if we don't seek the glory of Christ...ALL we should want is Him and His glory but yet we will receive so much more if that is all we seek.

Retreat...

Last week I took out time once more to go and 'chill' up in Newcastle. Time alone with me, my thoughts and I...and of course my God. Once more I loved driving through the Mournes...I even took a wee walk up Butter Mountain...not quite reaching the top, even though it was just within reach!! Surveying the beautiful mountain scenery around me. I definitely think this is where God does some of His thinking and planning. Walking in the cool of the evening through the Mournes :)


I also did some more star gazing...when it wasnt raining...lying out in the garden staring up at the bright, clear night sky. I could do that for hours and never lose the awe and majesty of it all. And my time there was rewarded with lots of shooting stars. The first being the most spectacular, it just burst across the sky seeming like it was on fire just above me...awesome =]

Then there was the tree I spoke about the last time, as I watched the leaves appear in front of me in the warm Spring sunshine. It was now fully covered in thick green leaves and 'helicopters' ready to fall in the fast approaching Autumn. Makes you wonder why they go to all that bother...all that effort for the leaves to come out...then in a couple of short months they will be strewn across the ground withered and brown. But that's the cycle that tree's go through...blossoming life and then what can so often look like a barren death in the cold hard winter...but no...deep down in the heart of the tree that blossoming life is waiting and preparing to burst forth once more. So often our lives can feel like that...a barren wasteland, a desert but deep down if we search for it in our hearts and in our souls that blossoming life and spirit that God has placed within us is waiting to burst forth, with lots of help from Him...no matter what season it is!!

Has anyone contacted 'Hello'???

I haven't written anything in a while and I have so much I want to catch up on...So im going to start with the biggest day of the summer!!! :)

Friday 07-08-09

The day of the wedding...it was such a beautiful day in all ways, the weather, the ceremony, the reception and above all the people.

It all started with early hairdressing appointments and a visit to the chemist as the bride called for some 'rescue remedy'...which i felt it was my duty as one of the bridesmaids, to look after for her!! :)

Then it was back to the house for make up and final preparations. We thought we had so much time but that last hour and a half just disappeared and suddenly we were 'fashionably' late as we got Janet into her car and Karen, Jill, Roberta and I climbed into the Limo!

The beautiful Bride ready to go and not a sign of nerves!!

When arrived at the church shortly before Janet with a little time to get some photos taken and then it was time to end the poor Groom's long wait!


The ceremony was led beautifully by Brian and was wonderfully relaxed and enjoyable as a wedding ceremony and as an act of worship.

Then it was on to Belfast Castle a beautiful setting overlooking Belfast Lough. Lots of pictures, smiling and mingling in the sunny afternoon.


Then it was time for speeches, dinner and dancing...even some monkeying around!! :)



The very cute monkey, Janet and Gareth made by Karen!!




And we managed to last right through to the very end!!


A fantastic, relaxed and fun day for a lovely couple, now may God pour out His many Blessings upon them as they start out in married life together.

im truly back home...

I had quite a surreal moment this morning...

Tomorrow is Janet's wedding so I have been doing some last minute preparation type things. This morning that involved getting a spray tan...to fill in the white bits!!!...and a french manicure on my nails. As most of you will know i'm not exactly the girly girly type so this was an interesting experience. I quite enjoyed getting my nails done, it was very relaxing and i was nearly asleep, especially with the calming music in the back ground.

Then at one point it just hit me...hold on a minute...whats going on here??!!

This is such a complete and utter world away from where i was last week...and for the past month. Who would have even thought of getting a fake tan or getting their nails done in Eppawella?? There are so many different priorities in life! Like feeding your children, making sure they have clothes to wear and putting them through school. And yet this is the culture I live in where fake tans and getting your nails done is an ever day occurrence for some people, so its about finding your own priorities...what are the really important things. What are you going to spend your time doing and spend your money on buying?

Moving on...

Today was my last day in C.T.S. and tonight is my last sleep here before the team arrive tomorrow afternoon.

I took the time to speak to all the people who I have been involved with these past 2 weeks as i have been made to feel so very welcome in the college and they couldn't have been more hospitable. Apparently I have been one of their 'least troublesome' guests (and the Dr wasn't bad either!!!! :) ) So either we were particularly easy to please or they haven't had very many guests stay!

This last week has been very chilled...in relaxation that is as the temperature continued to soar...that was until today as it has rained all day and the air has been relatively cool...clearly some one knows the Irish are on their way!!

Anyway, I had the opportunity to meet a most wonderful retired Anglican minister from the Church of Ceylon who was an absolute pleasure to talk with. He was able to share from a lifetimes experience of serving in the church and working amongst the Buddhist population so I was able to glean a lot of very interesting and helpful information from him for my research. His wife very generously provided some light refreshments in the form of cookies and King coconut milk. (which I was told has been known to be used in the place of saline if none was available - interesting fact for the day!!!) I'm not quite sure if his final comments to me were prophetic but when talking about what I intended to do after I finished my degree he said something along the lines of...well when you come back to either Sri Lanka, Thailand or...a 3rd country which i cant remember!!...you will now know what to do when you go and live in one of the remote villages!!...hmmmm...we'll see...only God knows that at the minute!!!

Well, the next part of this Big Adventure starts tomorrow when Layasing picks me up from C.T.S. and we head to the airport to pick up the Irish ViM team. (they should all pretty much be in Heathrow by now waiting for their flight here!) Then we head a little in land to Anuradhapura where we will be ministering for the next 2 weeks.

So please pray for them as they travel tonight and as we travel in land tomorrow. Also pray for the people in this college - staff and students as it is a wonderful place sharing God's love, and preparing people to go out and minister to many others.

Im not sure what internet connections will be like where we will be staying so im not sure if i will be able to update this for a while...but sure keep an eye out and we'll see what happens!!


Blessings :)

Surrender...

I had a wonderful experience of worship today.

I think Diyonus, the college caretaker is a little concerned about me being on my own, especially as Derek has now returned to England leaving me in the apartment on my own. So this morning in extremely broken English he asked me if i would like to go to church with him...at least at the time I assumed that was what he was asking!! So i agreed as i had no other arrangements made.

So we set off for a church that I had kind of gathered was pretty close by and it was indeed only a short walk from C.T.S. The sign out the front told me that it was a Dutch Reformed Church of Sri Lanka and that the English service began at 9.00am and that was the service that Diyonus had very thoughtfully brought me for. We went into the grounds and he introduced me to a few people and in chatting we discovered that this week the English service and the Sinhalese service had actually been switched as the English congregation were having an Alpha thanksgiving service. I decided that this was the perfect chance then for me to experience a Sinhalese worship service and tild Diyonus that i would stay for this service rather than come back for the English. So he introduced me briefly to the minister who was preparing to start, then took me to a house that was in the grounds ringing the bell numerous times until someone came to the door. A man cam out and Diyonus introduced me, I assumed this was another minister of the church as each different language congregation appear to thave their own pastor. It turned out in the midst of conversation that he was in fact the President of the Dutch Reformed Church!

So i was guided in to the church and Diyonus tried to get me to sit in one of the front pews but no the Methodist in me kicked in and I headed for the back sitting under a very welcome and cooling fan. Sadly as the service began the electricity cut out, the fans stopped and there was a little reorganisation as song books had to be found because they couldnt use the OHP! It was a wonderful service with A time of lively worship led by 2 young men from the congregation, backed up by a small band consisiting of a piano, guitar, drums and bongo drums. There was then what i could only assume was a time of confession and testimony when many people - all women it has to be said, stood up and spoke briefly.

The pastor, Rev Faber then brought the message, speaking on Hebrews 11:13-16, how we are strangers on this planet and our real home is the one prepared for us in Heaven. He very thoughtfully threw in a few English phrases for my benefit (very like some Sinhalese TV programmes when every now and again you quite randomly catch an English phrase...very amusing!!) to try and summarise his points. I did however catch that he spoke about Michael Jackson at one point, not quite sure how that fit in to what he was saying!! Halfway through I was very grateful when the electricity kicked in once more as it was really starting to get very hot in that little church - even with the slight breeze coming in the door!

All in all it was a wonderful act of worship with lively praise and from what i could tell of the way the preaching was delivered very passionate and so despite the language difference and not always understanding what was happening or being said I could most definitely feel God's presence amongst His people in that little church. For me that is what truly matters God's presence with us ministering to His children in the way they need most. During the service there was one word that kept coming back to me and that was 'surrender'. Surrendering ourselves...myself...to God's moving around me and within me. Letting Him minister to me where i need it most, it may not even be something that I know needs dealt with but He does. So i must surrender myself to Him, make myself vulnerable to His power working and healing within me and make myself available to what He asks of me...no matter what.